A little bit of change

I suppose after sitting here thinking about my title there has been much of that lately.

There is a changing of the season happening all around but I had no idea becuase of my enclosed world here on the couch. I see a few trees in the backyard but it seems they are late color changers. So my dear sister talked me into going for a short drive this last weekend, while my husband and Dad were moving all of furniture and boxes out of our apartment into a storage unit. It was lovely. I couldn't believe all that I was missing out on. It was beautiful what God was doing to my world while still taking care of the babe inside of my womb.
Here is a picture I took out the window on my journey outdoors (sitting in the truck).


Another change that I had been considering for some time is getting a second opinion on my condition. My doctor, I have come to understand, is a bit of pessimist. Which is generally exactly how I feel about myself and what is happening. So her telling me things like what little chances my baby had after my bleeding episode, or that we may have to terminate the pregnancy if I started to bleed again, and that I may never stop spotting. Frankly comments like these completely freak me out and starting setting me into quite a depression. I felt myself pulling away from my family and becoming terrified every time my spotting became just a little more. I don't like living like this. A friend recently told me that it's ok for me to be where I am and to allow myself to feel what I needed to. Unfortunately, even though I know she means me well and did not mean it to be a bad thing, I did let myself feel the gravity of my situation and solitude of it. For me, that was a bad path and I caught myself on that mind path on Monday. I have learned of myself in the past that I cannot take the pessimistic route in life otherwise I end up exactly where I was before I became pregnant with Josiah. We won't go there right now, but it wasn't good. Anyway, all of this to say that my husband and I decided that I am going to start seeing another dr. The sooner the better we decided. My husband's insurance has both me and my son on the policy and it is not a HMO type service. And the hospitals are WAAAAYYY more appealing than the one I was stuck in for almost 3 days. That's another story altogether there... Someday I will write about that. So I went in search last friday for a new dr on our new insurance. I felt the Lord leading me as I found this one particular dr's website. I began to read about him and found out that he is a christian, and readily talks about it on his website and belongs to several christian dr groups, he also takes many month-long dr witness trips. And to top it off he states that he practices in High risk pregnancies. Well I was hooked, and finally yesterday morning my husband told me that he wanted me to call the dr that I had found. So I did and talked with the sweetest receptionist in the world on the phone. She eventually, after hearing all about my story and talking with the dr, told me that he wanted to see me right away, this Thursday. That is tomorrow. YAY! I was thrilled. I am not sure that I can get my health records all sent over by then but he was ok with that. So I am off tomorrow to see a new doctor who can at least if anything give me a different perspective on things. Wish me luck and I will update as soon as possible.
Blessings to you all.