A year later

Amazing how time keeps moving on when you don't realize it.  It's been a year since I updated my blog about our lives.  We have moved into our own place (almost a year ago now) since last checking in here, which really may explain my absence.  Jacob started kindergarten at our local school, and is learning by leaps and bounds!  Josiah started 3rd grade in a special classroom in NW Portland this school year.  It has proven to be the best placement for him...ever!  He has actually learned how to read just this year!  Both boys have made such strides in learning this year that it literally blows my mind and has been hard to keep up with.  I'm so proud of my boys!

This last year has brought new challenges for Josiah as well.  On top of dealing with emotional, social, and relational challenges; he now has to deal with physical challenges as well.  Over several months of changing bladder and bowel habits, we sought out medical help, which led us to see a few new specialists.  The urologist actually found that Josiah has a birth defect called Spina Bifida.  A complication of spina bifida is Tethered Spinal Cord, of which Josiah has, which led us to see the Nuerosurgeon.  This new Dr told us about the surgery to "fix" this problem, but also about yet another finding in the MRI, that Josiah has Syringomyelia. Basically this is a cyst in the middle of Josiah's spinal cord, and is located in the middle of his back, between his shoulder blades, and it's quite long.  On March 21st of this year, Josiah endured a couple hr long surgery to sever the tethered cord, as well as repair the nerves that attach to his bladder and bowel.  It has been one month since surgery and we finally see our Josiah returning to us, and looking more like normal! HOORAY!  He still has a long road of recovering normal bladder habits and dealing with nerve pain, but for a 9 year old boy, he is doing considerably well!  We will be going back to see the Neurosurgeon in July to check up on the recovery progress and schedule another MRI to monitor the progress of the cyst.  We are hoping for the best, of course, and hoping and praying that he will not have to endure another surgery to repair the syringomyelia, however, that is not out of the question.  

As a mom, I cannot explain how I have felt over the last few months.  It's been extremely frustrating, scary, chaotic, and just saddening.  Nobody wants to see their child in pain, and this was not something that I could fix, nor take his place.  Lord knows I would have gladly taken his place on the surgery table in an instant!  However, that was not possible and I had to step back and trust in the surgeons hands not to "nick" a nerve wrong and put my baby back together perfectly.  Trust and patience is clearly not a strong suit of mine, contrary to what many of you may think; I was going crazy!  This was a whole new test on my trust in God.  One that I am simply still struggling with.  Why this dear child has to continue to endure not only his already multiple emotional issues but physical ones too?  I may never understand why, but I have to step past this, and move on into a future still unknown.  A step that I take each day, sometimes in fear and sometimes in peace, but yet I take it anyway, along with him. 

My baby boy resting up after surgery.