This blog post will be a truthful "snapshot" into what I'm dealing with currently. It will be impossible to really share it all, so keep in mind that this is just the tip of the iceberg.
At first glance this is a great family shot. Jacob is down in the tidepools busy trying to catch a fish with his hands. Brody, our dog, is busy enjoying every second of running free at the best dog park in the world! I had found peace and quiet at the top of this basalt column but that quickly ended when Josiah joined me to complain about how tired he was and how annoying his little brother was being. This just shows the happy smiling family for the moment and not what we were really feeling.
On one hand, I was completely loving and enjoying my view. Shown below...
Then in the next second life changes. As is normal with everybody's daily life. Our worlds and realities can change in an instant.
Our boys had been at each other all day. Starting with arguments all morning at the campground. Jacob and Josiah view social situations completely different! I'm not even sure how Josiah sees the world because I'm at a loss! All I know is Jacob always ends up the most hurt at the end of every situation. (Perhaps because he's the youngest) This particular situation started with the first picture above. All seemed normal and to be going well. Then all these small things add up. Not enough sleep, constant arguing, bickering about who found the best rocks. etc etc. Ten minutes later we're all walking down the beach (seen in the second picture down) back to our truck, and we're all picking up agates. The next second I see Jacob crying hysterically, holding his neck, and Josiah is sitting in the beach looking at me like he's pissed off at the world (again). Sparing the few details I have yet to put together, Josiah stabbed his brother in the neck with a stick, narrowly missing his main artery. Thankfully Jacob's neck didn't hardly bleed, and mostly looks like a big scrape. These kind of violent outbreaks have been happening at an alarming rate around our home though. This episode is just my last straw!
1 comment:
I can't even begin to imagine your pain. I don't recall if you liked the comment I posted on FB a few weeks back...it was something like this...FB is the highlight reel...it doesn't show everything that's really going on. While I'm going through some of my own struggles, I am trying to keep that in perspective. It's easy to get caught up in the envy of others' seemingly "perfect" lives. When in fact, many of us have things bottled up, hidden from view or maybe just carefully guarded behind closed doors (at least when it's possible). It can be hard to put on that "perfect" persona. Sometimes we don't want to, sometimes we have to, and sometimes it's really all we want to do (if only for ourselves). I find relief in the fact that I can turn to our Lord in these times because even when I'm hiding it from everyone else, He knows. I pray that you find some help and peace in your situation. Our children are our greatest blessings...and sometimes our deepest source of grief and heartache. I applaud your efforts to keep your family out doing such great activities! I bet those can be some of your most trying moments. You are a great mother! I can tell you are fighting so hard for your family. And even though there will likely always be some negative memories, I'm glad you're able to see some of the positive ones too. I'm sure you treasure those moments. I'm praying for God's healing hand in your family. May He bring peace and rest to what I'm sure is a very tired and weary momma. Hang in there! Even though I'm not seeing your day to day life, I can tell by your words, you are doing a GREAT JOB!!
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