I realized that for the last couple months I have had a personal goal that has kept me focused and subsequently had a significant less anxiety level. I think training for my race not only had physical benefits but also provided a sound mind so to speak. Since my race I have slacked a bit on working out and I feel the anxious and panic-y thoughts creeping back in. I do realize what's going on but can't seem to do much about it as time is not as available as it once was. We are really actively trying to find our own place to live and that takes up most of my days, as well as keeping up with the new daily schedule of driving more and therapy appts and dr phone calls, oh well I could go on but you know what, it's just busy. My hope is that sometime soon I can return to running but for now I will take nightly walks with my kids in the neighborhood.
Another issue more recently is Josiah's rising anxiety level and after speaking with his psychiatrist this morning I realized why he has been so angry. We let him be involved in coming to look at a home we were interested in renting, but ever since he has been increasingly more angry with us. Well that and the holiday over the weekend has sent him into a high anxiety place again. Holidays are always super hard for him with all the people and noise and stress level that he is keenly aware of, it all makes his life feel out of control. We have learned to cut some things out of holidays and keep things more simplified, and that helps, but there are always more meltdowns. That's just sadly an unfortunate side effect of holidays in general fur our family.
I am looking forward to calmer days in our future, maybe after we move and find our own space, or maybe we get further away from the stress of holidays, or just calm-ness within ourselves. Either way I hope that comes soon!
