2 weeks later

Well it has been 2 weeks since I'd been told it could be 2 weeks before he could be accepted into the new day treatment program AND I'm still waiting for them to call me for the intake appt. I'm really trying to be patient but it's super hard. Especially given our last couple weeks. Josiah's anxiety has gotten to a level that's not only hard at school (well nearly impossible there) but incredibly difficult to deal with at home. He's definitely going through some of the hardest emotional "stuff" I think he ever has!

I wish I could explain what we deal with here at home but honestly it's hard to explain. He's a mess lately and it's hard to watch this and not know what to do. I really am hoping the treatment center calls soon!

Today I met with Social Security for our last and final meeting regarding Josiah's eligibility for services. The news is that he has been found eligible under Autism and ADHD. So it's official... he is considered disabled and I am his caretaker. I find it so surreal to have this put in writing by this point in our lives. We have been through sooooo much with this dear child, but now it is federally found that he is disabled and is eligible for benefits. It's a great accomplishment to finally get this, so why do I feel so discouraged tonight? I think taking care of him is something that I just do and not think about the big picture, but to sit and listen to somebody explain all that I already do... and then some... was quite undeniably real for me.

I think I will just wake up tomorrow and begin another as they all do, and continue the work that I always do. :-)

On another thought...I finished a book this week. It was really thought provoking. I find myself still thinking about the sub-plot and characters introduced and the ending. Such an odd ending! I do see there is a second book, I may have to get this soon to answer some unanswered questions the ending left behind. The book is called "The Walk" by Richard Paul Evans.

Oh yes, and my training is going well. The 5k is 3 and 1/2 weeks away now and I am still struggling to run the whole 3 miles but I am able to run a mile in about 11-12 minutes. I run/walk about 13-17 miles a week. I can feel a difference already and have lost about 6 pounds. I am excited for the run but I am really hoping that I will just not make a fool of myself on race day. (Don't we all hope that simple fact at some point in our lives?)

News

Just a catch up post on the home-front.

(please excuse the random thoughts)

Josiah's anxiety has been through the roof lately, and we have begun a trial run of a new medication called Fluoxetine. It's an anti-depressant used in children with anxiety and panic attacks. We are keeping a close eye on him during this time. We have seen so much from him in the last 2 weeks it's been hard to decipher what is causing the mood swings. He has an ever-increasing hard time staying in school all day due to the anxiety and stress caused mainly by learning, and being in a classroom atmosphere and all that encompasses. (Imagine a loud, crazy room filled with people your own age, that you don't know how to talk to, and they are all learning something you don't understand yet, they all know how to read better than you, and the teacher is talking too fast and wait... did everyone just move on and now they are sitting on the floor listening to him talk about something I have no idea what it is... oh crap, I'm lost again.) Well, that's general ed for Josiah, so he mostly stays in his special ed class now, but he is now able to attend some small groups (with only 1 or 2 other kids for help with reading and math). He also attends a group with a couple other kids to learn how to interact with children his own age. That is his toughest group. We are working to help him be able to stay in school all day but this is a daily challenge to manage his anxiety well enough that he can do so. He did stay all day yesterday, but had many challenges through-out the day. We are all hoping for the best today but as I said it's daily challenges and he did not sleep well last night and past circumstances tell me that's not a good way to start the day for him. Still hoping!

We also received some great news from the insurance company last week. They have agreed to fund a day treatment program, that will temporarily take over the school day, therapy, and intense psychological services. This program may last from 6 months up to a year. The one hitch is that we are on a waiting list to get into this awesome program. It could be 2 weeks or maybe a month or 2, we are not sure. For now, we wait... again... until then we will continue to try to get him through his day at his current school, and continue getting in place an IEP for next school year. I will pass along more info as it comes in. As you can see, I don't have the details yet and am not sure what this new placement will exactly look like for him, so please be patient along with me until I can share more information as it becomes available.

On a personal level, I have already run over 23 miles in the last 3 weeks in preparation for the 5K Shamrock Run in March. I have enjoyed preparing my mind and body for this race. I don't expect to place in any record levels here, I am simply doing this for me. I set myself a goal, and that is simply that I be able to RUN 3.1 miles in whatever my best time may be at the time. Of course I would love to be able to run it in less than a half hour but I realize setting up those kind of goals may be too overwhelming for me, so I am just doing the best I can and am completely happy with that! I am working on my cardio endurance right now by running intervals. Meaning I run for maybe 2 minutes then walk for 2 minutes, by the end of this month I should be able to run for longer periods and walk for shorter ones but again we shall see. Right now, I can run for about 5 minutes without absolutely needing to slow to a walk, pretty happy with that.

I just finished a Nicholas Sparks book, (The Lucky One), it was very interesting. Not something I am used to reading but I am enjoying branching out and reading different things. Next I will try a Richard Paul Evans... then maybe The Hunger Games. I hope you enjoy watching my reading list (on my sidebar) grow this year as much as I do.

Until next time.... be blessed.