Christmas Blessings

This was an especially blessing filled christmas for me this year. Although this year has held many ups and downs, I tried to focus on my current blessings. It was just that much more special to share it with my sister's family (since we live in the same house now) and with my folks and sister who flew in just for christmas. It was a whirlwind trip for them but so nice to spend a couple days together.

Well I guess I should finish this blog since I started it like 3 days ago.... :-)
The last couple weeks have been quite busy for our family of seven. With the busy-ness of the holidays and husbands at home to the short visit from our folks, it makes for long and tiring days. This christmas was quite fun with Josiah and after thinking ahead to our next year I am anxious to spend next christmas with a 4 yr old and 10 month old. That will be a very special time as well. Although, this christmas was nothing to forget.

I have yet to download all our pictures from christmas so as soon as I figure out how to do so with our new camera I will post some of the most fun.

I did have a dr's appt last week and of course all is still well. I am growing right on schedule and the baby seemed to be doing quite well. My next appt will be at 34 weeks. Then I will be seeing him either every 1 or 2 weeks... can't remember. I seriously have the pregnant forgetful brain going on. I was jsut telling my sister the other day though that this baby is way more active than Josiah was... either that or I just don't remember or possible that with my first baby I just wasn't aware of all the action. The baby has begun a routine of the 3 am party... uh, oh I guess that means I will be up at 3 am feedings coming very soon.

Something silly my family has decided to do is that we are doing a due date guessing contest. I know it seems quite silly but I guess that's just the way my family is. :-) We all put in $1 and got one guess as to when I will have this baby. My due date is Feb 28th and most people have guessed anywhere between Feb 8th and Feb 23rd. Since I had Josiah 5 weeks early we are all pretty much thinking that I will be early again. We shall see who wins.

Well stay tuned and maybe tomorrow I will figure out how to download my pictures.
I hope that you all had Happy New Years and a very festive christmas.

30 weeks

Yep, it's time for another picture of my growing womb. Does anybody else think this baby is carrying low? Well he is definitely either sitting or has his head on my bladder most of the time now. It's getting hard for me to believe I am due in about 2 months now. Wow, time goes by fast this time of year. I told my dear hubby that I will be VERY ready to set up the bassinet and changing table after christmas. I guess since I had Josiah at 35 weeks I feel like I need to be ready, like totally everything ready, weeks before then. Which would be now but with all the christmas stuff up in the house we just aren't ready to put up baby stuff yet. Let's hope this little one hangs on until we can at least set up his bed. :-) Well, I am off to help with dinner preparations now, have a wonderful day and enjoy the picture.

Where have I been?

You may be asking yourself that when you have come to blog this past week. Well, we have been very busy doing holiday baking, shopping for christmas gifts and stocking stuffers, and of course trying to keep a home clean with 7 people living in it. Now, we are busy getting it ready for 3 more people to come for a visit this friday night. My folks from OR are coming in and our sister from ID is also coming in that night. It will be a busy house, but brimming with lots of love and oozing christmas spirit. :-)

He goes no-where without this belt on... I know, kinda wierd.

Take a short tour with me of our most recent baking adventures. (This morning the kids and I made 10 dozen cookies!) Yes, I am a little tired this afternoon. :-) But my tummy is happy.

Mmmm.... cookies fresh from the oven!

My little helpers and their "supervisor"

Josiah's Gingerbread House (decorated last Sunday)

There are many other great pictures but no room in this post. So you will hear from me again soon. Blessings to you all and I wish you a house that smells as good as ours. :-)

3rd Trimester and counting

My dr's appt went very well last week. I was a little nervous about my blood tests becuase my doctor had called me 2 days prior to my visit and said that he needed to talk to me in person about the results. It turns out that my cholesterol is just very high, but he said he's not going to worry about it becuase that is a normal tendency in pregnancy. Your body is storing up and using so many nutrients to grow a little person that these things can just be high and not to worry. And the gestational diabetes test was negative. All is well in that department so no worries. In fact my doctor was so pleased with my progress that he didn't do an ultrasound in the office. We just listened to the heartbeat for a little bit and he measured by uterus (belly) and felt where the baby was and said I was all healthy. This time I had only gained 4 lbs in 3 weeks rather than the last time I had gained 6.5 lbs in the same amount of time. So I was pleased. I have to think that is becuase I am more active now and have been able to go for short walks and go shopping on a whim now. :-) That makes this momma happy. You never realize how much you take for granted until you jsut can't do it anymore. We happily got every last bit of our shopping done this weekend.

Anyway, the baby is moving around so much now. I lay in bed in the mornings and he tends to wake the same time as Josiah every morning. As soon as I hear Josiah's voice (usually singing some song, recently it's been Jingle Bells) the baby starts moving around. It's funny, the baby tends to react more often to Josiah's voice than to any other person's. Josiah talked to the baby this morning... as he often likes to do when we are in bed in the mornings... and he told the baby "brother" and told him "I love you too". It was really sweet... in the meantime though I had Josiah put his hand on my belly so he could feel the baby girating and all the sudden there was one of those large kicks and moves and Josiah's mouth fell into a wide open "O" and tells me "baby kick me". I hope I never forget these precious days of sharing the making of a new life with a small child. The wonder in his eyes is enough to make any momma's heart melt. :-)

I am so incredibly thankful that I have come to the point in this pregnancy that I don't have to worry so much anymore. That all really is well and to know that I am in the best care possible. I am not only in God's care but in that special care, He has provided us a great home in which to live until the baby comes and the best "christian" doctor I have ever had! Isn't God's love amazing?! His grace really is sufficient for me. And today I rest in Him.
Blessings to each of you.

27 weeks

My sister told me this morning that I have grown past the soccer ball stage. So I'm not sure what you look like after soccer ball, but I guess I'm just huge. :-)
And unfortunately... I still have about 12 weeks to go... that must mean I'm gonna really be bigger than the house. My dear sister may have to build an extra wing on the house jsut to fit my body into it. :-) just kidding. Babies aren't that big, just I will be. hehe :-)
Enjoy and I hope you all have a good week. My next dr appt is this Thursday so I will update any new happenings after then.

Potty training woes

We have tried for many months to get Josiah potty trained and have yet to get anything to work. With the recent months happenings he seems to have regressed a bit. With my being on bed rest for 2 months and not being able to help with that matter, and he was so mixed up with where we lived. Now that my health has gotten better, and Josiah is more calm and comfortable here, I have decided to immerse ourselves back into potty training.

So today we put on underwear right away this morning and I have been taking him to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so. We have potty books and I got some potty training videos and I have been talking to him about being a big boy. If I am missing something here, please tell me. Before, when we did potty training we gave him M&M's after each potty he did in the toilet but that doesn't seem to make any difference to him. So I am not doing that today. How do I get him to tell me when he has to go though? Will that just come in time?

Potty training has to be one of the most frustrating parts of raising children. If anybody has any great ideas that worked for them, I would be up for suggestions. For now though, I just plan to keep on taking him to the bathroom and playing video's for him. We shall see how this week goes. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts this week. Thank you.
Blessing to you all.

So much to be thankful for!

As my sister has posted on her blog this week, there is so much to be thankful for this year. Our pastor at church on Sunday encouraged each person to name their blessings one by one. I don't know if I could possibly give the full list of everything that I am incredibly thankful that God has done for me but I will definitely try to hit my highlights for this year.

I want to start with what comes first to my mind, and that is this pregnancy. First of all, I am thankful to even be pregnant. I have struggled most of my adult life with infertility, so to find myself pregnant I was completely surprised and so utterly happy! I am also thankful that the Lord has placed his grace and protection over this little boy inside of me. He has healed my womb from a very scary ordeal and is continuing to grow this child to perfection.

I am also thankful that we moved to CA this year. I have met so many new friends and learned so much about what I am capable of. I went back to work for a few months this year, and even though I was away from my dearest son, I learned much about myself and in the process met a lot of wonderful people, all of which I am incredibly thankful for.

I am thankful that God provided a very nice and convenient place for us to live that was close to my sister. It provided all of our needs for many months. It was also so good that it was so close when we we had to abruptly move out and into my sister's home. Again, another blessing given to us this year, I am so very thankful that my sister's family took us into their home at such a difficult time for us. I trust that the Lord will give them many blessings for their generousity to my family.

I am also just so thankful to be a part of such a large and loving family. Not only my family but my husband's family. We have gotten only encouragement and love from both about our move away from them all, and during this pregnancy they have all been fabulous to us. My husband's sister and her husband have also just welcomed their first child into the family and we are so incredibly thankful for their blessing.

There are many more things to be thankful for this year but I think that hits my highlights. The Lord has been good to us and in return I give Him all the praise and glory for all the wonderful blessings in my life!
Much love and many blessings to you all on this fine Thanksgiving day. :-)

Praise God for his miraculous healing!

Well I have good news to report from my Dr appt Thursday. As always my Dr was very nice and very encouraging. I have never been as thankful to change Dr's as I am with this change. :-)

God has answered our prayers and is healing my womb and growing the baby nicely. Hubby and I got to see him on ultrasound again yesterday and he is more beautiful than ever! We also got to see where the placenta is located now. And praise God, it has moved AND re-attached itself! If that isn't the best news you have heard all day then, well it should be. :-) There are still a couple of questionable area's that still need to heal, but these things don't happen overnight, I guess, so I am patiently waiting for the Lord to bring this child to full development. The other thing that the Dr told us yesterday is that I will be able to go full term with this baby and there should be no reason that I cannot have him normally as well. Unless of course things happen towards the end that require a cea-section. We will just trust that the Lord is taking care of that too, and whatever happens when this baby is born is totally fine with me, as long as he is fully developed and healthy. We have now been given that re-assurance, and I could not be happier.

I have also been given a reprieve on my bedrest. Many of you know that I have already been up and starting to do some cooking around the house and been getting out to stores just this last weekend a little bit. Well the Dr beleives that it is ok to keep going with that routine, as long as I take it slowly. One step at a time. I don't want to go out and run around the block or something like that, but I have been given a bit more freedom. Just yesterday morning I walked the kids to the park that is 3 blocks away, but per dr's orders we took it very slow and I did great. It was nice to be outside with the kids. :-) So I shall take baby steps and hopefully get to a more active routine soon, probably just in time for the baby to come. :-) So it looks like we may have this baby around February 28th after all.
Take care and blessings to all.

Nesting... too soon?

I'm sorry I have been away for a week. My goodness, all the sudden this last week I have had this surge of energy and I have been busy. Maybe some would say busier than I should be, but I just feel like I need to hurry up and get ready for this baby. Well, and christmas too.

Last week my son and I made some cookies for my grandmother. We had a great time doing it. He is acutally a pretty good helper in the kitchen. It's actually easier for me to have him in there with me than to wonder where or what he is doing elsewhere in the house. We talk about the ingredients, and I know you all might think I'm crazy but I let him help crack eggs too. It's just fun. I try to imagine how much fun it would be too feel so helpful to my mommy if I was 3 yrs old too. That helps me put things into perpective. :-)

Anyway, after that cooking episode went so well, I decided to make dinner by myself last week as well. It was great! I truly LOVE to cook and haven't been able to for so long. I guess maybe I'm tired of sitting on my rump (which by the way seems to widening with each passing day). So I have been getting up and helping a little more in the kitchen and it has brightened my spirits immensely!

Last saturday I was feeling well enough to try to make a shopping trip. My dearest hubby drove me to the craft store. Now that's love my friends. He even walked around with me and we had our 3 yr old son with us as well. Hubby was so patient with me and helped me pick out jsut the right crafts and colors. I have picked jsut a couple of crafts that I know I can finish by christmas. Not too many like past years. :-) I am totally feeling just so home-y.

So back to my nesting. It may be a little early to be feeling like I need to have everything ready for baby. I even made a list of everything that I need to bring to the hospital with me. I have been shopping for nursing clothing online. I even decided to make a shopping trip this morning to the outlets shops with my son. We went to Carters and Motherhood Maternity and of course they put the chocolate store right beside the maternity clothes store. Mmm, somebody thought that one through. :-) I bought a few items for the baby and jammies for my son and jammies for me to wear at the hospital. You have to check out this outfit I bought to bring home my son from the hospital in. Isn't it the cutest thing ever?!


I have also picked out the bassinet that I absolutely love. I have researched them for about 2 months now, ever since we knew that the baby would be sharing a room with us. You have to check out this bassinet
Isn't that the cutest thing ever? For those that cannot click on the link, it is Winnie the Pooh, and has blue and white checked fabric, and comes with a cute Winnie the Pooh and bees mobile. This bassinet has a light on it and has many different songs that it plays and also has the vibration installed. I hope that this will fulfill all ours and baby's needs. :-)

Well I am getting long winded so I will go for now. I am looking forward to seeing my dr again tomorrow. I have many questions to ask and am waiting impatiently to hear what he thinks about my weight gain. (Eeeek, I will fill you all in on the results later) So I will write after my appt and fill you all in on, hopefully, some encouraging news regarding my placenta and it's placement. :-) Blessings to all! :-)

Exciting day

It has been an exciting morning. My sister in law called me this morning to tell me that my husband's sister is at the hospital getting ready to have her baby. You may recognize that she leaves me comments on my blog often, her name is Julia.

Her and her husband are a little older than my husband and I, and this is their first baby. They have tried for many years to have a baby, so this is a much waited for baby, and no doubt will be loved and cherished dearly!

Please pray for a safe delivery and that the baby will be healthy and everything will go as smoothly as birth can go. :-)

Unfortunately, we live in CA and they live in WA, so we will not be able to see this little one until after I have my baby, due to my own health problems. It is times like these that it is soooo hard to be so far away from family. My heart and thoughts and prayers are in WA today.

On a side note, Josiah had his first dentist appointment yesterday and all went well. He was an angel. I wondered what happened to my son and what was possessing my son to be so cooperative. I secretly wished he was like this all the time for me. :-) hehehe But I am glad everything went as well as it did and I was very proud of him for being such a big boy. 3 yr olds are amazing and surprising creatures. :-)

Many blessings to all today!

*********************UPDATE*******************************

Vivian Elsie was born on November 9, 2006.
She weighed 6lbs 11oz and was 19 1/2 inches long.
She is perfect and very healthy and mom is doing good as well.

We celebrate the birth of our neice and extend our well wishes to the new family!

Wonderfully normal

We had a nice weekend. We spent saturday doing some cleaning and laundry. In the afternoon Josiah got a haircut, then we took him to the park to play. The kids all watched the movie "The Wild" that night. It was a really nice day... I guess the first really normal day we have had as a family in a very long time. It was wonderfully normal and marvelously relaxing. We did a lot more realxing on Sunday. We went to church for the first time in about a month and a half and stayed afterwards for the Annual Turkey dinner, which was fabulous. Then came home and while Josiah took a nap, us adults watched a movie. After that we did a lot more relaxing and goofing off, then had some dinner. After the kids went to bed last night, hubby and I watched another movie. It was another really nice day. I guess our weekend is just best described as wonderfully normal! You have no idea how great normal sounds till you've had our last month and a half. :-)

My sister and I are starting to plan thanksgiving dinner this week. It will just be our 2 families for that holiday this year. We did have much different plans for that weekend, like a wonderful week long trip to Oregon, but with my health that way it is, that was cut out, and we are all staying home this year. My folks are coming for christmas and that will be a blessing to see some family for that holiday.

I will leave you all with a family picture taken yesterday before church. This may be one of the last pictures you see of the 3 of us, in the coming months our family will look a bit bigger. :-)
Blessings to all!

Halloween day

Please forgive me for not writing before day about our Halloween activities, but I have literally been exhausted. All of the activity of that day has really worn me out, either that or growing this baby this week is absolutely exhausting. I feel like I could sleep all day! And that is pretty unusual for me. Well this isn't a complaint fest... on with the day. :-)

Please step into our Halloween...

Our day started with yummy orange pancakes. The kids said they couldn't even tell they were orange... guess I should have added more food coloring. Then for snack time, Josiah and I assembled the spiders and vampire blood. He was supposed to keep it a secret from the other children but honestly, what 3 yr old do you know that doesn't broadcast everything that is told to him. So proceeded to run through the house saying "spiders, spiders, eat spiders."

For lunch my sister and I assembled our mummies in coffins. Really they were jsut hot dogs wrapped in biscuits, but what kids doesn't love those, so of course those went over wildly. We rounded the meal with mac-n-cheese becuase it's orange and it was an easy add-in. And the children had orange colored sprite, which again I could have added more food coloring, becuase Justin thought it was red or something.

For snack we consumed "rotten apples" in the afternoon. Then for dinner my sister made some really cute meatballs with sliced olives on top, to look like eyeballs. So we ate "worms and eyeballs" for dinner. Acutally spaghetti and meatballs, and it tasted fabulous! We also made "vampire repellant", garlic bread of course. And Brain Cell Delight. It was actually blue Jello with a mixture of cottage cheese and blueberries and food coloring to make the mix look gray. It was actually quite tasty. It all went over really well. The children scarfed through dinner becuase they were so excited about going trick-or-treating though. I wish that I had a picture of dinner to show you, but I don't have one on my camera. Maybe my sister will post one.

After dinner the children went out with the dad's (Jonny and Dave) around the neighborhood to do the duty. They were gone for quite a while, and while they were out my sister and I took turns answering the door the some 200+ kids that we had come trick-or-treating to our home. The kids had a super day and fun was had by all!

Cool dude! My little hippy!

Pumpkin picking and carving

Last Saturday we went to a pumpkin patch here in town and it was super fun, but wicked hot. (sorry, that's my Adam Sandler influence coming out) Seriously though, it was like 75 degrees out but I am like nearly 6 months pregnant and with hot sun blazing down, and me not used to be out in the sun anymore, it was really hot. I know... I'm a wimp. :-)

Anyway, we found some really nice pumpkins, walked through a very short (and dorky) corn maze, let the kids romp in the hay tower, and looked at the cute craft barn they had set up. And hubby couldn't leave without buying a pomegranate to show the kids how to eat one. It was a good time.













Last night we carved our pumpkins. (Or as Rebecca says, we killed em') It was fun had by all except Josiah. He was not impressed with this ritual what-so-ever! We tried to get him interested in pulling the guck out of the pumpkin but he gave us an emphatic "No". So I took his hand and put it in with mine but he was pretty freaked, so then I tried to get him just to feel it, and that was a no-go as well.

Totally yucky mommy! Somebody save meeee...

Oh my goodness, what are these crazy people doing?

Feeling... a... little... nauseous, now. (he actually was gagging almost the whole time)

Oh, pew! That stinks Daddy! If I wasn't sick before, I'm gonna be now.

Aw, finally, my own pumpkin to color!

Phew, what a night! I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted!

Tune in tomorrow for more great halloween pictures. I had a great time coming up with our halloween menu for today. Here it is: Enjoy!

Breakfast: Flap Jack O'Lanterns (get it flap jacks... pancakes) I dyed them orange.

Snack: Spiders and Vampire Blood (ritz crackers and peanut butter, and rasberry smoothies)

Lunch: Mummies in coffins, and mac-n-cheese (at least it was orange)

snack: Rotten Apples (baked apples with gummy worms coming out top)

Dinner: Worms and eyeballs (spaghetti and meatballs), Vampire repellant (garlic bread), and what I'm most proud of Brain Cell Delight (jello salad).

Dessert: Jack O'Lanterns (popcorn balls)

See you all back tomorrow. :-)

Encouragement and Frustrations

This week has been filled with both.

I am encouraged this week that my spotting has almost all stopped. I have only had a very little bit this week and I am really happy about that. I usually go at least 1-2 days without. And all this encouragement with the fact that I have been up a little bit more at home. I have decided to try to be up just a bit more and see what my body can handle. So I get up and get myself a quick snack and something to drink, and I sit on the floor with Josiah for a couple minutes to help him with a toy or change a diaper. This morning when I got done with my shower, I thought everyone was still sleeping (sister was actually getting ready) so I went upstairs to get Josiah and made us some instant oatmeal and toast for breakfast. That was the first time in a month I have actually been able to make myself some food, other than grabbing a muffin or bagel for snack. It is really quite an accomplishment for myself. Not that I plan to get up every morning and do such things, I'm not ready for that yet, but it's the small steps that make me feel better about myself. Anyway, with all the movement I have had (which in reality, still makes me sound like a sloth) I have been feeling rather well. Don't worry folks I'm not gonna go off backpacking or something, or definitely not even venture on a walk around the block yet, but moving around the house a bit is a good thing.

My frustrations this week mostly goes back to caring for my son. I really want to get back in there and be the mommy and take care of him but I know I can't becuase of my limitations. My body does let me know when I take one too many steps. I would love to be able to pick up my son. You have no idea how my heart breaks to see others be able to pick him up effortlessly and comfort him when gets an owie or when he jsut needs a hug. That is hard for me. Also, what bothers me is the fact when I do try to scold him or just talk to him he throws a fit. He doesn't listen to me hardly at all. I understand that it's probably because he has learned that I can't always just get up and make him obey me, but it certainly doesn't make things any easier. I suppose that is why I ultimately decided I am going to get up more and make more of an effort to play with him more. I want him to be comfortable with me again. I want him to simply listen to me. This is probably the hardest thing that I have to deal with these days.

Well there's that and watching my husband work tirelessly at work then to come home this week and get our apartment finished. Tonight all he has left is to gather what's left in his truck and clean the house. Then he is done. I am very proud of all the work he has accomplished. He has done this nearly all by himself(except for some help from my Dad and brother-in-law moving furniture, and my sister last night shlepping boxes) and he is exhausted but he has really done so much. He deserves something really nice... jsut wish I could serve him. :-(

Well folks, always good to hear from you all, take care and give those you love big hugs and never take that for granted! It's a good thing. :-) Blessings to all.

lessons to learn

Since most of my posts lately have been about me and the baby, I thought I would write a little about my firstborn. :-)

He learned a very important lesson today...

We have been putting him down for his nap in our bedroom becuase that is closest area that I can keep an ear out for him. Well, also in our bedroom is all kinds fun things to play with that he doesn't normally get to "play" with. For example, the baby monitor. I had turned it off this morning after getting up as I do every morning. So, I'm sure Josiah thought, what other better thing to play with than the baby monitor that happened to be sitting right beside the bed today. Along about a half hour after I laid him down for his nap, I heard this very loud scratchy, crackly sound and then a very loud screech and cry. At first I didn't know what happened but as soon as the door came flying open with Josiah screaming and shaking from head to toe, I knew exactly what had just taken place. I turned off the monitor and then got down on my knees to hug him but he was literally shaking from head to toe. So I held him for a couple minutes while I relayed the events to my sister who was now standing in the doorway wondering what in the world all the ruckus was. She picked him up for me and put him back in bed, since I am still on a strict no heavy lifting ordinance. I got him calmed down and within probably about 10 minutes he was out.

Looking back, it seems like a comical experience. As I relayed it to my husband he kinda thought so. There are tough lessons for little 3 yr olds to learn to keep their hands off of and I guess today he learned that you can't touch things that make lots of noise. :-)

Below is a picture of my big boy from this morning. Mmm, I wonder what that face could mean?

And just for the Gramma's who read this blog, he is about 3 feet 3 inches tall and about 32 pounds or so these days. And crashing cars is still his favorite past-time. :-)

Blessings to you.

A good thing

My sister, my son and I walked into the new doctor's office yesterday afternoon and were pleasantly surprised at the atmosphere in there. I don't think I have ever been to a dr's office that made you feel comfortable. It had lovely couches that were actually comfortable and great parenting and pregnancy magazines and books all over the tables, and there was a great children's area filled with books and toys off in one corner. Not to mention the fantastic receptionist, who ended being my dr's daughter. She got me checked in and then actually talked to me. I have never had a conversation with a receptionist at a dr's office before. Wow, what a concept, nice people. She asked how my pregnancy was going and I explained about the previa and now placental abruption and my bleeding. She told me that she currently has complete placenta previa with her pregnancy as well. I was like really, wow. She then went on to tell me that she had it with her last one as well and even though she did not have bleeding she understood how scary it was. She said that her placenta had moved by the end of her pregnancy and she was able to have a normal delivery. She was encouraging to me and it made me feel right at ease. So all 3 of us waited in the waiting room for maybe 15 minutes or so before being called back. The nurse first took all my vitals. It's nice to know I have only gained about 11 pounds so far. :-)

Anyway, the dr finally came in and he got a brief description of what has happened in my pregnancy so far. Then he spoke with me a little bit answering my many questions about my situation. Then he said why don't we jsut take a look and see where your placenta is. In the room was already an ultrasound machine.(the best quality u/s I have ever seen in a dr's office before!!) It was great to have a dr actually explain all the things we were looking at and why it was important. He first wanted to have a good look at the placenta. He explained to me exactly where it was, and how much of it was attached, and where the abruption is. He also showed us where some blood was that was eventually going to come out, (which is what the spotting is that I am having) or he said it's possible it could be re-absorbed as well. He was quite optimistic about the outcome of this pregnancy after seeing what was really happening inside there. He encouraged me the baby looked great and yes, there is an abruption but there is about a 95% chance or more that the placenta will move as my uterus gets bigger to make room for the growing baby. That is great odds! We explained to him what kind of care I had been getting and the grim outlook my Kaiser dr had and that we really wanted a dr to be on our side and be optimistic and help us get through this and give us options rather than looking at the grim side of things. We told him that we go to church and in no way did we want to think about having to terminate this pregnancy. He told us that he was on the same page as we are and he is optimistic that things will be ok and this baby will make it. He was also very explicit with his instructions as to when and how much I can get around. Pretty much as long as I am still spotting then I need to take it as easy as possible, some movement is ok, but I need to not be doing much at all. Now if have like 3-5 days without any spotting then I can start adding a little more activity to my schedule but not lifting heavy things or anything like that. He said to understand that I will be taking it easy the rest of this pregnancy. No matter if I stop spotting or not, I will still need to rest a lot. And that is ok. :-) As we were leaving he shook my hand and told me God bless you.

You have no idea how good my heart feels today. I felt so good last night. The best I have felt in a month! It's really amazing how just having an optimistic dr can change your whole outlook on things. Yes, things are still pretty much the same. I do have a placental abruption and in and of itself is not a great thing but I feel like we can face this and overcome it rather than be overcome by it. Does that make sense? And yes, I still will be sitting on this here couch for the next 3 months or so but it doesn't seem so bleak. I guess I felt like I wasn't making a difference, that somehow no matter what I did, I could still lose this baby at any time. And to an extent I guess that is true with any pregnancy, but I don't have to dwell on that. All I need to think of is that I am doing the best thing for my baby by taking care of me and resting my body. I feel a little less cautious now about shopping for this little one as well. I was so reluctant to buy anything yet b/c somewhere in the back of my mind I felt that maybe it wasn't going to be. I understand I will still have those moments but at least I have reassurance that my dr is going to help fight for this baby. And that is what makes all the difference in the world to me!
Blessings to you all!

A little bit of change

I suppose after sitting here thinking about my title there has been much of that lately.

There is a changing of the season happening all around but I had no idea becuase of my enclosed world here on the couch. I see a few trees in the backyard but it seems they are late color changers. So my dear sister talked me into going for a short drive this last weekend, while my husband and Dad were moving all of furniture and boxes out of our apartment into a storage unit. It was lovely. I couldn't believe all that I was missing out on. It was beautiful what God was doing to my world while still taking care of the babe inside of my womb.
Here is a picture I took out the window on my journey outdoors (sitting in the truck).


Another change that I had been considering for some time is getting a second opinion on my condition. My doctor, I have come to understand, is a bit of pessimist. Which is generally exactly how I feel about myself and what is happening. So her telling me things like what little chances my baby had after my bleeding episode, or that we may have to terminate the pregnancy if I started to bleed again, and that I may never stop spotting. Frankly comments like these completely freak me out and starting setting me into quite a depression. I felt myself pulling away from my family and becoming terrified every time my spotting became just a little more. I don't like living like this. A friend recently told me that it's ok for me to be where I am and to allow myself to feel what I needed to. Unfortunately, even though I know she means me well and did not mean it to be a bad thing, I did let myself feel the gravity of my situation and solitude of it. For me, that was a bad path and I caught myself on that mind path on Monday. I have learned of myself in the past that I cannot take the pessimistic route in life otherwise I end up exactly where I was before I became pregnant with Josiah. We won't go there right now, but it wasn't good. Anyway, all of this to say that my husband and I decided that I am going to start seeing another dr. The sooner the better we decided. My husband's insurance has both me and my son on the policy and it is not a HMO type service. And the hospitals are WAAAAYYY more appealing than the one I was stuck in for almost 3 days. That's another story altogether there... Someday I will write about that. So I went in search last friday for a new dr on our new insurance. I felt the Lord leading me as I found this one particular dr's website. I began to read about him and found out that he is a christian, and readily talks about it on his website and belongs to several christian dr groups, he also takes many month-long dr witness trips. And to top it off he states that he practices in High risk pregnancies. Well I was hooked, and finally yesterday morning my husband told me that he wanted me to call the dr that I had found. So I did and talked with the sweetest receptionist in the world on the phone. She eventually, after hearing all about my story and talking with the dr, told me that he wanted to see me right away, this Thursday. That is tomorrow. YAY! I was thrilled. I am not sure that I can get my health records all sent over by then but he was ok with that. So I am off tomorrow to see a new doctor who can at least if anything give me a different perspective on things. Wish me luck and I will update as soon as possible.
Blessings to you all.

20 weeks yesterday

I got a call from my dr yesterday morning and she told me that the Perinatologist has changed my due date. We all kind of thought he would anyway since the baby kept measuring a bit larger. So my new due date is February 28, 2007.

She also explained what the Perinatologist believes is the problem. He beleives that there was a placenta previa but no longer is, it is now considered low lying. That is the good news. Now for the part that is really confusing... he said that when my placenta moved from cervix that it became pulled away from my uterus. Meaning I now have a placental abruption. It is a small part, but that little part is what is still bleeding and causing my continued spotting. The dr's are hoping that when my uterus grows it will pull the placenta up further and give the placenta more room to attach itself. It is possible however that it will not re-attach itself. In that case, as long it does not bleed profusely, just spots off and on, it will be ok. I will just have spotting. So again we are in a waiting game. I will have another ultrasound somewhere down the road, I just don't know when quite yet. The baby is still in danger, becuase of part the placenta not being attached, and my health is mostly what the dr is worried about now. As long as I don't bleed too much I will be ok, I just need to continue sitting here and do my part in growing this child for as long as I can keep him in my body.

Well onto something a bit lighter... here is a picture of my growing 20 week pregnant body. I know, I look tired, but hey it was taken at 10 pm at night. :-) Enjoy!

Lessons from a 3 year old

Today my wonderful sister in law sent me the cutest video of a momma kitty who became a surrogate nursing mother to some puppies. She had lost her own kitties, and the mother of the puppies was unable to take care of her pups so she took them in and nursed them. They must have made the news, hence the video clip making it's email rounds. If I could figure it out I would post it here for you to watch but I honestly don't know how, sorry.

Anyway, I watched the video with my 3 yr old son. He has quite a empathetic heart. So the poor dear told me after we watched it that he wanted to go see them. I told him that they lived too far away and that we can't go there. He then pipes up and tells me quite matter-of-factly that we go in momma's car. I giggled and told him that no, I was sorry but we could not do that today. He continued to beg pretty please. I asked him why and he told me help kitty. Is he jsut not the cutest thing!? I guess I am raising a pretty good kid after all. I have to admit it's kinda hard to tell when he sits at the dinner table and screams, no, to you when you try to bribe him with ice cream if he eats his dinner, just the night before. :-)

Anyway, this whole situation got me thinking of my situation today. I have been very scared lately, but not trying to show it. I still have spotting each day and it is increasingly alarming to me. It is hard for me not to think about. I was praying quite profusely this morning, and found myself asking the Lord to please comfort my heart today. I think he found the best way possible. That is through my son. My son has taught me many things, but the few that stand out to me are that you always have to keep trying. Never give up, or give in. And to always see the positive. There is always a way. You just have to keep trying.

Right now I need perseverance to get through this pregnancy safely and end it with a happy, healthy baby. I was reading my bible this morning and this is the first verse I found, it may not mean much reading it but it meant a lot to me.
Romans 5:3-5
"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character,hope; and hope does not dissapoint, becuase the love of God has been poured out within out hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

I leave you with one last verse today. Blessings to you all.

Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Change is good..

At least a change of scenery is good for the soul. Since I am almost pretty much stuck to the same area all the time now, I thought it would be nice to have a new look on my blog. Hope you like it. :-)

This last weekend my hubby started packing our apartment up. He is now in charge of pretty much everything there. I went over there with him a little on each day this weekend though. Mostly for moral support and (shhh don't tell him this part) but to keep him on task. If you know my dearest husband at all, you know that he is really good at procrastination. I have to say though that he did a great job packing up. He got our bedroom, and bathrooms done. And a good start to our son's room. This week, however, each night he has quite a list of items to take care of before my Dad comes to town. This includes my china cabinet. And I get no say in how this is packed... is anybody else nervous for me? :-) Well, I trust him, especially since he went to Home Depot and picked up some bubble wrap and small boxes for that purpose. I will jsut have trust in my faithful husband that he won't break my tea cups and saucers, at least not on purpose. :-)

On to other things... the baby is getting more active each day. It is super fun to feel him "poking" around in there. Well, not so much when it's my bladder that is the target but all in all it is a huge blessing to feel my son inside of me. :-) I grabbed hubby's hand really quick yesterday when my son started poking towards my belly button and he got to feel our son's soft and gentle pokes. It was very special for us. :-) Hence, this is today's positive thought. Baby's movements are totally awesome. :-) Please remind me of that later in pregnancy. :-)

Blessings to all.

Positive thoughts...

Well today folks I need to focus on positive ideas about this baby. After a fitful night of terrible dreams and awful hip pain and then today I started having some more spotting, I decided I have to think on positive and good things. I am terribly worried about this baby today and that is not good for my health or the baby's. I ask you all to help me keep my mind on good things throughout this pregnancy so I can bring this baby to term. I NEED to do this, and I know I can. I guess I just need to keep myself accountable by writing on these good thoughts to keep my mind on. If you have any ideas for me please leave a message. Thank you.

Phillipians 4:8 "...Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

So every day I am going to find a new item to post about so that I can come back here and see how many good things I have to think about instead of being stressed. Today's positive thought is about baby names. I have been researching names for this little boy for a very long time. And my husband and I have been discussing names and not exactly agreeing. There are a few things that we do agree on though, and that is the name will be a "J" name to go along with our family theme (we are all J names), also we want a biblical name that means something to us.

My husband keeps asking me if I like Jeremiah, and I have to say I have not been fond of it. Today I decided I wanted to keep an open mind and just dig my way through some biblical names and let God speak to me through them. I spent some time with the name Jacob and exploring what that means to me. One question... what exactly does "He who supplants" mean? I think the exact translation means He who takes the place of. Mmm, good thoughts. One website suggested that it could possibly translate into "may God protect". And then I spent more time with the name Jeremiah. One website says that it means "God will uplift." There is a lot to think of that meaning. Does that mean that God will uplift this child's life literally, like to heaven, or does it mean that God will improve or exalt this child's life? Dictionary.com has many meanings for the word uplift: like raise up, or to improve, or to exalt. Mmm I think these are good things to think on today.

The list of names that I have considered today are Jadon, James, Jamin.
If you have other J boy names that you really like or considerably like the meanings of then please mention them to me in a message. :-)
Thanks again for your support and love throughout my bedrest. Blessings to you all.

Sorrows don't come like a thief but like a Battalion

I wasn't sure what to say or how to say what has been happening to us lately but it has sure been a wild ride this last week. I guess it just never got any better since losing my job 2 weeks ago.
On a quick higher note it was my son's 3rd birthday on Monday but we had decided earlier this month to celebrate it the saturday before. Looking back I am SOOOO glad we did. We took him to a place that is for small children, that has rides and cool animals to look at. We brought a picnic lunch and it was great. Josiah had a blast and really isn't that all that matters. :-)

Well Monday came and since I am still out of work my sister and I decided to take our kiddos to go apple picking. We had a great time. The kids had fun. We paid and hauled our loads to the car and then it all went bad. Very bad. I felt something and it was not right. We hurried quickly to a bathroom and I was horrified that I was bleeding. I came out and told Dawn that we had to go to the hospital now. We hurried to the truck and I called my dr's office. Dawn started driving the long distance, 45 minutes, to San Jose. That trip took a LONG time and I was scared out of my mind. I thought that the baby had died or I would bleed to death but of course I'm not always the optimist. Anyway, we got to the hospital and after many tests and an ultrasound. You have no idea how absolutely "Wonderful" it is to see your baby's heartbeat and kicking around and waving at you after you have a scare like that. But they determined that I have Full Placenta Previa. Meaning that the placenta is fully covering my cervix. That's a bad thing. So something irritated it and made it bleed, the placenta that is. I was admitted to the hospital and finally, after 6 hrs, taken to the postpartum ward for observation. I spent the next 2 days there and my bleeding had gone down to just some spotting so they let me go home with the stipulation that I was to be on bed rest and that someone had to take care of me. No walking around, no stairs, no picking up more than 5 lbs, complete pelvic rest, only walk to couch and to the potty, otherwise I sit on the couch all day. But you know what I would much rather be here than the hospital. I am feeling so much better jsut being able to be near my family and hear them talking and playing. I need to keep this dear child inside my body until at least viability stage (26 weeks) or more preferably 34-36 weeks when everything is fully formed and grown. So you know what that means folks...? Yep, it means I'm going to be sitting here for a very long time! But I can do this, and by golly I AM going to do it. I know that God has this baby in the palm of His hands and He taking care of me and my body. I have prayed for this child probably every five minutes of my waking moments and I truly feel like the Lord has given me peace about the life of this child. I have no idea what the Lord has in his great plan for us but I know he has our best interest in mind. I guess I don't make sense and I don't mean that to sound grim, I really do feel positive about having this baby. And I am so thankful for every moment I have the baby inside of me. I am truly blessed! Maybe all that has happened in the last 2 weeks has been in God's will for me. Losing my job was probably the best thing, I have been able to stay home and spend more time with Josiah and do lots of fun things in that time that I wouldn't have if I was working. I am truly blessed with a fabulous family and husband and a perfect baby. So I will wait patiently in the Lord for the beautiful day my baby will be born.

On another side note, I want to give thanks to my absolutely wonderful sister who has graciously taken my family into her home so that I am not home alone during the day. (per dr's orders) She has taken alot on her plate right now, so when you think of me or pray for us, keep her in mind as well. She needs much prayer and appreciation. :-)

I thank the Lord in remembrance of you.

What to do now....

Today I ask for your prayers for my family.

Yesterday I lost my job basically becuase I am pregnant and what they said was that I wasn't going to be a permanent employee and they felt this job was too stressful for my condition. Let alone the fact that I always got everything done in a very timely manner and was always pleasant with everyone... (even when they were nasty to me). It's just all very upsetting to me right now. I didn't deserve that. I suppose everyone thinks that when it happens to them.

But honestly though... how easy is it going to be for me to find another job. Are people really going to take me serious when I walk into a place of business to ask for a job with the way I look now? I mean I look pregnant now... can't hide that. (wouldn't want to anyhow) I am just afraid it will be difficult to find another position that is going to work for us.
Anyway, I appreciate any prayers or positive thoughts you could send my way today.
Blessing to you.

Birthdays

Are really just another day aren't they?

That's ok. But today for my 32nd, my sister and I are taking our kids (hubby's working) to the San Francisco Zoo. I know it will be lots of fun. I jsut hope we all stay together... I had a terrible dream about losing my son in the crowd. Freaked me out... Anyway, I'm sure we will all do well.

Oh yeah, hubby got home a week ago and it has been great. We had a really nice relaxing 3 day weekend together. It was just what we needed!

I am 14 weeks today and doing very well. I have little aches and pains here and there but for the most part I am starting to feel really good and an thankful for that. Very little barf-y feelings anymore. That's gotta be good, right.

Well we are off to the great blue yonder... oops I mean zoo, :-) blessing to you all!
(I will post pictures soon)

12 weeks

I had an ob appt yesterday and all is well. She said that I measured just a few days further along so she did an ultrasound in the office. It was really great to see the baby again. I could not ever tire of looking at my sweet baby's heartbeat. I'm really just so darn happy that it has one. :-) I know that seems silly but given my past and most recent happenings this year, I am just so incredibly thankful for every day that goes by and this baby holds on tight.

This appt entailed the whole physical and all went by quickly and without any problems at all. I only had 2 concerns and one was that I am already getting so big. Hence the ultrasound, which showed just a few days ahead of schedule but she said that was perfectly normal. The other concern was my headaches that I seem to have developed in the last 2 weeks or so. We discussed that it could simply be all of the extra estrogen that my body is developing right now, or it's possible I was low on iron... although my blood tests did turn out ok. So she said that if they continue then I am to go to my regular dr to find out why I am having them. So in a couple weeks if they don't go away then I will do that. Other than that, this baby and I are doing fabulously! Thank you for all your prayers and support. Blessings to you all.

Daddy's gone

Yesterday my dear husband had to leave for a 2 and a half week business trip. He went to Oklahoma. He has to do some tool training. Sounds completely boring to me.... And I am none to happy that I am left at home pregnant and to solely take care of our nearly 3 yr old. All I have to say is THANK THE LORD for my sister. There is no way I could do this without her. She is taking good care of us.
I have been telling Josiah since yesterday that Daddy is in Oklahoma. We have been trying to get him to say it but it sometimes has been coming out as just "homa". So then my sister asked Josiah as we were leaving her house today "where's daddy?" He promptly answers "Homo!" LOL Kids say the funniest things! I just get a kick out of him sometimes. :-) Thank the Lord for funny kids!
Mood swings and headaches galore today. So much so that when I got from work I sat in my sister's kitchen and just cried. I don't even remember why at this moment but this being alone tonight in a quiet house is not helping either. Well, this too shall pass and we will get through it. If you think of us send up a prayer for our family.
Blessings to you all.

10 Week ultrasound

I had a dr's appt yesterday and it went terrific. I'm sure many of you know I have been worried about this pregnancy, but when I saw my little one's heartbeating and waving at me all my fears melted away. It was the most awesome feeling! I cried the whole way home and as soon as I saw my sister I just wanted to hug her! I can't really describe my feelings but just know that I am happiest woman on earth today! :-) (sniff, sniff... sorry crying here)

I am now 10 weeks pregnant. My morning sickness comes and goes. This week it has decided to manifest itself back to mornings. As soon as I eat breakfast I have to run to the bathroom... it's like an almost immediate eject response turns on. ICKY! I have managed to keep most of my breakfast in some days though. :-) Other than that, all is well. My dear hubby and I can definitely see some difference in my lower abdomen. Probably not anybody else though... except for dear sister. She said she can see it too. So very soon I will start posting those oh so lovely belly shots that I know everyone loves to look at. :-)

But this time I plan to post a picture of my truly lovely and amazing baby! He or she is upside down in the picture. So the big blob at the bottom is the head and then the body comes up from there and then the arms and legs stick out from there. Use your imagination and your will see him/her. :-) He/she is 29mm long... or about an inch and a 1/4.















Blessings to you all!

Have you been in suspense long enough...?

Alrighty, has it really been almost 2 and a half weeks since I posted? Life sure flys on by even when you're really paying attention to time, and trying to enjoy each moment.

Well the biggest thing that we did in the last 2 weeks is that we took a spontaneous trip up to Oregon. It was lots of fun! It was really the only time that we had to go visit our families though, since my husband started his new job. We are glad we went but the it was way too short. It's never enough time to soak in every bit of your family though. Sure is hard to live so far away from your folks when you have such a little one at home that grows waaayyy to fast. The drive home was really hot (114 in Redding, CA) and very long (12 1/2 hrs) to get home. Phew... It's good to be home in our own beds but I'm missing those we left there. :-(

My husband started his job as soon as we got home and he has been doing great! He really likes this new job. It's good to have your husband come home and be so excited about learning his new job. Even though I understand about 25% of the "tool talk" that he comes home with, it's the exhuberance and joy that he has back in his life that I am enjoying. :-)

Another thing that has us so darn excited lately is that we will be adding another wee one to our family in about 7 months. :-) Yep, we are expecting another child. I am now about 8 weeks pregnant and all is going well. I have a really hard time keeping my eye on that, the fact that I am well (actually sicker than a dog) and this pregnancy has been my best one yet. I'm sure every woman in early pregnancy has fears of loss but mine seems so great. Those of you who know me even a little knows that my dear sister lost a baby of her own earlier this year. It weighs heavy on her heart still and therefore is near and dear to my own. I know loss, after losing my first 2 babies to miscarriage, that loss is very real to me. Even with my pregnancy with Josiah I had spotting and was scared almost the whole pregnancy that I would lose him. But this one is sooo different. Some days I have such peace in my heart that God is taking care of us and all is well. Then other days I am so scared to lose this child, and I just want to dig my feet in and say "this is my child, God, and you can't take it from me." And in the same thought, I know that all of my children belong to the Lord. Anyway... beyond my inner struggle... I am really happy to bring another child into this world and am ready for it... Bring it on!

Blessings to you all!

Has it really been almost a month...

Wow! The summer is really zooming by. There has been so much happening that I hardly ever sit at my computer anymore.
Let's see... a quick re-cap. Since Father's Day...

I started my new job the very next day. The first week was rough but I am getting in groove now. They have had a rash of bad temps in the office so I think they were not to eager to let someone new into their fold but this last week I have heard rave reviews. Even the big boss, the owner of the company, has asked that I be his personal assistant. But they will keep me in the job they hired me b/c all the managers love me. That is fine with me. I am officially still a temp, so they have to keep me at the position they hired me for or not keep me at all. So I am jsut thankful to be kept. :-)

My folks came for the fourth of July weekend and stayed with us. It was filled with a quick trip the see the Monterey Bay aquarium and a short beach trip, and of course a couple fireworks, and lots of giggles between grandkids and grandparents were to be had. It was a wonderful weekend and we all had fun catching up with each other's lives.

We also got some big news personally. Not sure what my husband says about telling the world about our future so for now, I guess I will leave you hanging. :-)

My husband also got a new job that he will start on July 17th. He is very excited about it. It will be such a better job for he and our family. The only bummer thing is that he will be leaving for 3 weeks to go to Oklahoma for job training on August 13th. Major yuck! I just hope he's back in time for my b-day in September.

My son had an evaluation done by the school district for his speech. He has qualified for free speech therapy and at this point they have agreed to do at our home. Well for now I think we will do it at my sister's home, since that is where he is during the day. We are very excited to see how this goes and are hopeful that this brings him up to where he should be. He has a hearing test tomorrow to make sure that is not the problem. We hope that test will be just fine since for the most part he seems to hear what we say. He also started taking a soccer class on Saturday nights with other 2 and 3 yr olds. That has proven to be lots of fun for him. He doesn't pay attention to the other kids very much at all though (maybe that's normal for this age) except when he decides he really wants to kick the ball b/c momma won't lay off the "kick the ball, Josiah", well let's just say he has no aim whatsoever right now and it usually ends up hitting some kid and sometimes knocks them over. I'm always saying "I'm so sorry", and being almost the only mom out on the field, (last week I was) well it's a bit embaressing. Oh well, he's having fun, lots of fun, and honestly that's all that truly matters. Nobody has gotten hurt so I'll go with that for now, and jsut be happy my baby is kicking balls and having a great time!
Well I hear my son now waking from his nap. I better be going.

Tomorrow is hubby's birthday and I am planning a yummy dinner with BBQ steak and macaroni/crab salad and baked beans. I made a 2 layer round german chocolate cake today and he is quite impressed. Yes! I already made points! It will be good day, he said. So let's all hope for the best as my dearest turns another year older. Happy Birthday Honey! :-)

Blessings to you all!
(Lord knows my house is overflowing!) :-) :-)

Father's day

We had a wonderful day in Big Sur for Father's day. We bbq'd steaks on the beach and they were fabulous until sand blew on them and made them gritty... even still they tasted good but the texture was just wrong. The sun shining but the wind was whipping. It was a good day. I will let the pictures tell the rest of the story for you. :-) Enjoy!
Blessings to you.

Don't you just wanna live here forever!?

Yellow Lupine

The best use of the timer on my camera in a long time.

Can you hear it... "Yeah, baby!"

Just in case you ever wondered what sand would feel like down the front of your shirt....

Best Buddies!

Update

I thought I would let you all know how the nightmares are going for Josiah.
Well they aren't! He has gone 3 nights in a row with no bad dreams, and I am so extremely thankful! And if that's all we get then I am happy with this progress at least.

I decided that I needed to start praying every single night with Josiah. Now, don't get all upset... we do occasionally pray with him but it wasn't an every night thing. I also sing Jesus Loves Me to him on occasion as well. But for a week now I sing that song to him and now I also pray for good dreams. He's so cute when he says Amen when I'm done. He says "Amen, k, night night." Ohhh, that's my boy. (snif,sniff) growing up.

Anyway, we are grateful for the progress he is making and look forward to another night of no bad dreams. Of course it doesn't make them stop forever, but I will take not every night for now.

Blessings to you.

The life we live

I know, I know... long time no hear. And so much has happened too. I'm not sure where to start...

Well first I want to mention that I got a new job. I know many people have been praying for me and I am very excited that I won't have to drive and hour and 15 min's to and from work any more. I got a job in the town we live in, so I will only be 5 min's from home. That is such a huge blessing in itself, I can't even describe what that will do for me. With the extra time at home with my family and extra sleep, I hope that will be enough to make a difference.

I have become concerned about my son lately. He wakes every night with nightmares and cries for me. He also wakes and comes into our room and stares at me. If you have never woken up with a small child literally inches from your face you have not been sufficiently startled awake. It never fails to freak me out. I open my eyes and there he is... Anyway, he comes in every morning (about 5am) and when I try to talk to him, he doesn't say a word. He doesn't even move, he just looks at me, while holding his blankie to his chin. Then I pick him up and take him back to his bed. By the time I get there his eyes are closed and I tuck him in and he curls into his blankets and sleeps. What is this? Seriously, I need answers. What is going on with my son? Should I be worried? I get told things like it's a stage or it's his age. My husband thinks that it's becuase he has gotten to that age in development where things seem more real now, so it's possible what he watches on tv are coming back in dreams and scaring him. We have noticed that he does seem scared about things now that he hasn't been before. So, if you have any ideas on what this might be or if I should be worried or not, let me know. :-)

We are planning a family trip to OR this August as well. We are looking forward to going back and visiting both of our families. We have missed our families so much since moving away from them in December. It will be a super time for us!

My husband is now looking for another job. He really doesn't like his current one and basically he just isn't making enough for us financially. So he going out on a serious job hunt this weekend. We are going to send his resume to as many places as we can find. He did hear from one place yesterday, Hilti tool co., and they are going to have him in for an interview hopefully next week. We shall see, but we are quite hopeful of this position b/c it would be step in the right direction for him plus a big salary increase, which we REALLY need right now! Please pray that God will lead him down the right path.

Thank you for listening to my concerns and for sticking with my blog even though I don't get enough chances to come and write anymore. God bless.

Funny bits..

of conversations lately. :-) Enjoy!

Me: I'm having a good hair day today
Hubby: you sprayed enough of that crap today, can you say Aqua Net?

Me: my allergies are bad this week, how about you?
Hubby: a little snot

Me: All done with Excel class now, I can do sorting, filtering and formatting... Oh My! And I can make a pretty darn cute graph if I do say so myself.
Sister: Cool
(sorry, I posted that because I liked my rhyme.) yes little things amuse me today...

Me: What did you do today?
Son: CRASH! (actually sounds like "Trash") Gotta love 2 yr olds!
(It's his favorite word right now since he LOVES to crash his hotwheels!)

One last thing, during my last class last night, on the spreadsheet we were manipulating, it had several abbreviations for states. One of them was MA. The professor kept calling it either Maryland or Maine. Finally, one of the students finally corrected him, she was elderly so I assume it was allowed. The funny thing is almost 2 minutes after he was corrected he called it Maryland again. The woman next to me and I shared looks and then giggled. I really hoped that the teacher didn't hear us but dang that was funny, he just could not get it right, that it was MASSACHUSETTS!

Mother's Day

We went to Pt Reyes National Park for Mother's Day. It was a wonderfully warm weather day, just perfect for the picnic lunch my sister and I had planned for our families. We ate chicken salad croissant sandwiches and fresh fruit, and homemade frosted brownies, right beside the beach. It couldn't be more perfect. Oh yeah, and us adults hade some white wine to wash it all down with. :-)

Josiah had a blast running in the water on the beach. He was absolutely fearless, which is both super fun to watch and extrememly fearful for the mommy. :-)
Our family playing on the beach.



This is a picture of us hiking down to Pt Reyes Lighthouse. It's about a 1/2 mile hike out there and last little bit is well over 300 steps downhill.



It was a LONG drive home. Trust me, long is not a good enough word in this instance, but it will suffice. We left the lighthouse hike parking lot at 5pm and about 8pm we were driving out of San Francisco and had a starving little boy in the back seat, so we started looking for a good place to have dinner. It just so happened that there were no good restaurants along our trek, so we finally broke down and stopped at Burger King becuase I jsut couldn't stand to wait any longer. It was right beside an airport with tons of helicopters. Well, right on front of the BK was another helicopter, only it was made safe for kids to play on it. All of the control levers and dials and pedals still worked though. So for dinner on mothers day we dined in a helicopter. This folks, is what memories are made of!



Blessings to you all! And I hope that your mothers day were just as blessed as mine.

Patience

I want to start by thanking each of you who responded to me by comments here and by email about my last post. To update you on how I feel about my life I thought I would write a few revelations I have had.

I have a wonderful family, who may not live near me, but nonetheless support me and hold me in their daily prayers and love me regardelss of what I do or what I say.
I have a God who gently reminds me of the blessings I have in my life, in such ways that bring an overflowing joy out of my eyes.
I have a son who brings such joy and laughter to my spirit each day that makes me more thankful of anything else in the world.
I have a sister-in-law who gently reminds me, in lovingkindness, that I have a wonderful family in which I should enjoy each moment that I am allowed to have with them at home.
I have a sister who sits with me as I spill my heart onto her kitchen table in broken peices and helps me put some sense to it. Every woman should be so lucky as to have one of "these" to be thankful for. :-)
And the best for last... I have a husband who carries my burden even though I cannot see him there beside me, he holds my cares in his heart and patiently waits for me to come to him and spill my feelings out without making me feel guilty for holding it in so long. He talks all my problems over and makes them his own without my asking, and we work through them daily. Who can ask for more?

I am blessed with so many things, and should not want more. There are things of course that are still not in good shape and will not be for some time I am afraid but I feel a new strenth renewed, for having such things mentioned above, made new to me, I beleive that I can pull through this rough "time" and will succeed in getting used to this new life I now live and must "plow" on.
Blessings to all!

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Sadness

I know no other way to describe my almost daily feeling these days. And I know that it seems weird to start this post this way when my last post consisted of entirely my happy thoughts. If I must be honest though... I had to dig deep to find those happy times in my life. Please forgive this depressing post but this is simply how I feel... and isn't that what blogging is for, writing about your life. Well currently this is my life...

I work as a receptionist at a real estate company 50 miles away from my home. And on most days that means an hour and 20 minute drive EACH WAY to work. Plus working an 8 hour shift and a one hour lunch... well you can do math but that means nearly 12 hrs away from home Mon-Fri. Now most of you know my prior life (last year) consisted of me staying home with my son and my hubby working back breaking flooring work to pay the bills ( but didn't really make enough). So to go from being home with my son, to now being away from him from 7am in the morning till 6:30pm most days, is absolutely heartbreakig. To make matters worse for me, my son really needs me right now. I feel like I am losing an important relationship that I have worked at from his birth, it's slipping through my fingers. I come home at night to either make dinner (if hubby isn't home yet) and/or eat dinner and most nights fall exhausted on the couch and maybe read a book or two to my son and play cars with him on the couch before putting him to bed. My husband tells me that I am so stressed out all the time. I declare I am completely at my wits end and cannot live this way. He also is stressed so it doesn't help matters. Am I not supposed to be my husband's help-meet? A fine wife I make these days with most days filled with conversations ended in frustration, with both my husband and my son. I don't want to feel to upset all the time but I feel like how can I help it when I feel like my whole world has dumped me into some kind whirlwind life that I am so completely unfamiliar with. How do women live these lives? How do you work 8 hour days(plus lunchtime and driving times making it longer) and keep your house clean, the clothes washed, dinner on the table, your son well taken care of and loved and keep a solid realtionship with him, and teach him how to talk, and maybe a potty training session when you can, play games with him, give him baths, take the dog for a walk and well maintained(groomed, fed etc.), and plan meals for the next week and shop for groceries... among many other duties? Just tell me... are there really enough hours in the day? I say never!

Well, I decided that I simply cannot continue in this, I have to better this situation. I asked for and got fridays off at my current job so that I can spend more time at home with son. If I feel like I can make some progress with his and my relationship then maybe I can adjust better to this new life. What should be more important is my relationship with my hubby. But we are just kinda drifting in the wind right now, occasionally crossing paths when the wind blows us the same direction. I know all relationships have down times but this one is just sad I guess. I don't have any friends here in my new place. I do have my sister but what little time we do get together always includes our children and sometimes hubbies. I do pour out my heart to her on occasion but there is only so much you can dump on one person who already deals with so much. She has been so wonderful just to take the burden of watching my son during the day while I work. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that my whole life, everything in it, is all crazy and I feel like I'm trying to swim to the top for air. Maybe soon, I will be able to find another job, one closer to home and things won't seem so difficult. I know too that we will settle one of these days, but waiting for that day to come seems neverending.

Sorry to end on somber note.. but I think I have said enough.
Blessings to you.

Today's happy thoughts

My top 10 of life simple pleasure's

1. Seeing my son snuggled up to our dog in the morning
2. Seeing the beautiful sun shining on the ocean
3. Feeling the warmth of my heater under my desk on a chilly spring morning
4. My husband's giggle at 6am in the morning as he talks to our son
5. My son racing up to me after a long day at work saying HI and giving me a big hug
6. Listening to my son sing me a song he just made up of a bunch of new sounds he is learning
7. Taking a walk along the beach at lunch and escaping all of work's stresses if only for 30 minutes
8. A song on the radio that brings a smile to my heart
9. snuggling to hubby on the couch after a long day
10. the renewed joy and hope that God brought to my heart on Easter day

Blessings to each of you!

Potty training has begun

My baby is growing into a littly boy!

We have been preparing this for some time now. We have gathered books on going potty and the potty chair, a seat to go on the big potty, pull ups, and training underwear as well. We have been talking with Josiah about telling us when he goes potty so can learn his own body signals for months now. So we worked him up to this slowly.

My sister, Dawn, and I decided that we would officially start this week. Her and I had been taking him to the potty off and on for a couple weeks but we decided this is the week that we are gonna hit it hard and see if he catches on to the concept. So Dawn started yesterday morning with pull-ups on and taking him to the potty chair in the bathroom every 20-30 min's and giving him lots of stuff to drink. He was really good all day, except that he didn't want to go when he got up from his nap. But he is definitely understanding how to make himself go pee-pee in the potty when he sits down. They started reading the potty books while sitting on the chair but now he will go without reading the book. He just looks down and then goes pee-pee. It is still going to take some work on the #2 part, but we're getting there.

The cutest part is when he is all done going pee-pee he stands up and claps for himself and says "YAY" and then he waves "bye-bye" to his potty and then flushes the toilet. It is such an accomplishment for him. I can see the joy with himself in his eyes. I think that this is really interesting for him right now because he loves a challenge. And this is something to master right now. He is always so good when he working at a new skill. He works diligently until he gets it. And he really hasn't had a new skill to work on for a while, not physically anyway. He has been working with words lately too. But that is a cognitive skill, and that comes a bit slower than physical changes. His newest word that I have noticed is that he can say "sorry" now. Yay! That is helpful for him since he tends to have to say that a lot since he is 2 and does get into a fair share of mischief still.

Thank the Lord for small steps! I will take each of them happily. He is just growing so fast right now and learning so many new things... it's a bit sad to watch when I am away all day. The good thing is that he always willing to "show" me or "tell" me his newest accomplishment. These days are precious and I am so extremely grateful for each of them. We have a wonderful God and He has blessed my family time and time again. Today I rest in His goodness and lovingkindness.

Blessings to you!

My sister and me

I want to say...

Happy Birthday to my wonderful sister! And for lack of a better picture here is the 2 of us on the beach... our favorite place to escape to together (except for our recent find, the tea house) !

Your presence in my life has been a shining light and without it I would have been lost in my own dreary life at times. I thank God for you every day! He has given us so much! We are so blessed by the families that we now share! You are totally "RADALICIOUS" babe! You are loved!

One small step towards home...One giant leap onto the stairs!

It's truly amazing where one step will get you in life.

I was headed back inside late last night after my husband and I took out the garbage, and I came running around the side of the building and headed up the cement stairway. Yeah, you see where this is going. Well, you see I was trying to "race" my husband inside. I think once I hit 30 or something, that was a foreign concept to my body. You'd think I thought I was Mary Poppins and could fly or some great concept like that. Well after the fact, I really think that is something I should learn. (lol) Anyway, have I made you wait long enough? :-)

As I ran, I came up to the bottom step and it must have been the wrong one becuase the next I knew I was laying on the stairs headed up the stairway. I immediately had pain shooting through my right knee and my right hand. I started crying and my husband was trying to pick me up and bring me upstairs to do the triage in our home, since, after all, Josiah was inside sleeping and we needed to get back inside. So I hobbled up the next flight of stairs with my husband's help and he got me settled onto the couch with 2 icepacks on my leg and knee and one on my hand. He gave me 800mg of advil and sat down beside me. He tried to get my mind of it, but when you're still crying from pain and in shock of the whole situation there really isn't much one can do except hold your hand and rub your other leg. So that is what he did. I turned on the Apprentice and we watched that until the meds kicked in and then we put me to bed and I tried to rest. I think Josiah must have felt the upset as well becuase he got up and wandered out of his bedroom and my hubby put him back in his bed with his favorite stuffed animal and then we all went to sleep. This morning when I woke up we came out to the living room at 6:30 and found our son asleep on the floor, we figured he had cuddled up to the dog. The dog had stood up already when we came out but he was still watching over him. It was almost as if the dog was telling us I took care of him for you, it's ok, don't worry. Golden Retrievers are truly the best "kid" dogs ever! Thank the lord for our Curly-dog today. :-)

Well my finger is starting to throb again so I best get going. And oh yeah I forgot to mention that my sister took me to the dr today and after some xrays, nothing is broken, (even though I thought the most inconsiderate dr ever ranked my leg around), and I have a sprained finger. So I am just severaly bruised and sprained, and I should get better in a few days. I took today and will take tomorrow off work as well, to stay home and heal. I have several stairs at work and do not look forward to that at all. :-( My sister took good care of me today though, she made fabulous rasberry muffins and jasmine tea for me while I slept on her couch. How cool is it that I live so close to my sister that she can take care of me when I am not able to walk? I think she is the best medicine ever! :-)

Blessings to you all!

That's life

Wow, I was just reviewing how often I have been able to post since taking my job at the end of January. It seems as though my life has gotten a little busy since then because I am hardly able to get to my computer at home to post. I will continue to try to post at least once a week though, for all those family members who like to take a peek into our little world. :-)

Speaking of busyness - this last weekend my husbands sister and her husband came for a short visit. We met up with them at their condo friday night and stayed with them for the evening. It was a very nice condo, with a fireplace. Now any mom with a 2 yr old, is having red flashers going off in their heads right about now at the thought of a fireplace. To put it simply, Josiah found out just how hot fireplaces can get. He got too close, and bumped into the metal part with the backs of his 3 middle fingers and proceeded to fuss to me immediately about it. Once I saw the damage to his fingers, we got him some ice and tried to tell him he was going to be ok. But he was too upset and cried for probably close to 2 hrs becuase his fingers hurts. He would jsut hold up his fingers to me and say "maaa maaa" in that crying sniffly voice of a 2 yr old, and of course my heart broke becuase I felt like the worst mother for allowing such a thing to happen to my precious child. Anyway, we went to Rite Aid and got him some burn medication and bandaids and advil. That combination seemed to work becuase shortly after criving down the road he stopped crying and then he was chattering again. Just like that, he was done with his crisis. But not forgotten, he even showed us all night his bandaids and made a terrible face about them. I think my brother-in-law said it perfectly, I think he was just mad that the pain didn't go away. As soon as we got the medicine into him and it started to work, he was just fine and seemed to deal with everything fine after that.

Phew, so one crisis overcome. The next day, on Saturday we decided to go on a short hike in the afternoon. It had rained that morning so things were still a bit soggy, but the sun was out and it warmed us we walked through the beautiful, lush forests of Point Lobos State Park. We finally made it to the coast and walked along and saw so many beautiful birds. Josiah had a blast! Whenever we take the little guy on a hike he has to gather "stuff." His favorite thing to gather is rocks. I still have yet to discover what makes a rock worthy of picking up, but he studies the ground and then picks up the tiniest rocks, that are always so pretty. He is also found of most sticks, of all sizes. The small he likes to toss along the trail and the large ones he enjoys pretending they are his swords. A fondness he has learned from his cousin, Justin. :-) The hike was beautiful! We saw all kinds of birds, a deer, 2 otters in the ocean (hubby thinks they were performing spring activities) and small hermit crabs. What a joy it is to take your child into the outdoors and show them God's great beauty. We are so blessed with so much beauty that we so often take for granted.

The rest of our weekend with them went very well. We stayed home on Sunday and did a lot of resting and visiting, and took one short trip to the grocery store. We were sad to see them go on Monday morning but were so thankful for the few short days we did have with them.

This week hubby is on a business trip in Sacremento so it's just my son and I at home. Josiah was asking for "da da" last night as he went to bed and this morning when he woke up. Poor things misses his daddy. :-) I thought that was cute. Nice to finally understand the litte guy.

This is getting long so I will sign off till I meet you here again. Blessings to you all!

(Stay tuned.....Pictures to follow soon of our hike)